By Lady C

We do our very best to ensure they are delivered safely into our hands right from birth. Others acquire safe passage from home and yet again it is left to us to ensure they assimilate into a stable environment within a society that can offer them the best possible chances of a better life and hopefully a more successful career. They leave behind a beautiful country that has so much hidden potential but nothing yet to offer the immediate young who are just starting out. Their journey could be hampered by many unsurpassable obstacles from abject poverty, lack of knowledge and education, limited mental and social development due to lack of resources and the list goes on. So, in tandem with moving Mohammed to the mountain, we move our children to the mountain in search of greener pastures in paradise on earth. Aaahh, the quest for a much more meaningful life.

Isn’t Britain wonderful for these kids! Notice how we do not ask this question, but we exclaim it wholeheartedly!! Well hello, this society has gravitated with time and changed.

Human beings acclimatise very quickly; hell, if we as adults do so in a timely fashion (or at least we like to think so!) what more our children who are far more capable of soaking up much more information than us?
Their immediate surroundings play a huge part in their social development and try as we may as parents to instil as much commonsense in our children, the dye is already cast. Perhaps something we should have incorporated into our culture more forthrightly from birth and way before bringing them into this society. So many things besides charity begin at home. Perhaps we fail from the very start.

You only need to look at the ardent changes in the local structures of society here to deduce that the world is not only changing around you, but even the norms of society have upped the ante too. I mean, twenty years ago who would have thought we would be experiencing, reading and living through the untimely and horrific deaths of Stephen Lawrence, Damilola Taylor, Michael Simwanza and others? What is happening to our world of ‘normal’? And these were the good children; they were bright, exceptional and truly gifted but were ruthlessly cut down in their prime. That is too painful and moreso for the African parent for whom it is taboo to bury their child!!

Then we come to the ‘yo’ kids who want to flex their street savvy both on the streets and in the home. When they walk in the front door, everything stays outside, literally. The ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’ is the first to go, quickly followed by ‘yes or no mum/dad’. The yes becomes a ‘yeh’, the no becomes a ‘na’ and I don’t know slips into a sly ‘a dunnoww!’ You start to wonder whether they are aware they are actually talking to you. Then immediately that long sharp sound of the kissing of the teeth comes out their mouth, you know something has changed. When you reprimand them it escalates into an argument (could you ever argue with your parents like that?) and you hold your tongue before you curse your own child with your own saliva. Don’t even think about discipline as they have their so-called rights now to help them go that one step further should they want to insult you much more than you can imagine – so be grateful before you find yourself behind bars! Thank you Britain!
The answering back and back-chat sneaks in together with ‘Just leave me alone!’ or ‘Shut up!’ Can you imagine your own child telling you to shut up? Dishes piled up in the kitchen sink, no cooking or cleaning when you (the slave) are there for that. Hanging out with so-called friends (more like street thugs) is the order of the day and their size ten trainers don’t come cheap anymore. The dressing like a thug is all the rage with those intimidating hoodies (I condemn the person who incorporated them into daily wear for sweats and jumpers!) Jeans that don’t pull up to the waist but fasten across the genital area exposing their underwear in the misguided sense of fashion! Late nights on the streets or loud rowdy music from their rooms, unwelcome visits from their six foot tall friends with leery expressions, suddenly you find yourself living a life of selflessness as you ask yourself where you went wrong.

Would you please care to enlighten some of our parents in the ZamBrit Community where exactly they have gone wrong as it seems some of our children have little or no respect and no morals left to support our parental function in our daily lives within today’s society?